Thursday, March 30, 2006

My Fucking Week

I can't wait until midnight tomorrow. That's when I get the hell out of work and this damned week finally comes to a merciful end. I've been taking a class in the mornings and working nights. I almost got fired this week not long after I almost quit. And my damned knee went south again so I've been in a lot of pain. I'm at wit's end. So I have to make this weekend count, goddamnit!

Saturday night my band Jupiter 2 plays at The Blue Mermaid in Portsmouth. We are playing with the Electric Caves who have been around since the early 80's (1980s not 1880s although I could be wrong). Finally, we have found a band older than we are. Bring your impacted bowels, swollen prostates, false teeth and Viagra to the show and have a blast. We will have you home in time for your Geritol enema and Lawrence Welk re-runs. And if you do make it, please buy me drinks.

9 Comments:

At 2:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's see if you get 36 comments for this blog.

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

These two guys walk into a bar...the third guy ducks.

 
At 12:15 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Were any of the guys black or gay or a nun?

 
At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There was one of each....

 
At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Besides, that is "was any of the guys...."

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

Very perceptive...one of the guys was a black gay nun.

Two crack whores have to buy anal lube at the 7/11 2 blocks from their hump dumpster. Crack whore (A) has $1.00 and a squashed twinkie. Crack whore (B) has an empty forty bottle and a dead cat. Assuming non rush hour traffic and ample public transportation, who will arrive at the 7/11 first?

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

A pimp had 12 hos, he had to smack up all but 9...how many hos does he have left to handle the closing time rush?

 
At 9:36 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

This dude walks into a whorehouse and tells the Madame that he needs to get laid but he only has $5. Can she help him out? He'll take anything.

He says "I don't care what she looks like, if she fucks like a rabbit or just lays there. I just need to get laid."

The Madame says "Head on back to room 6. She doesn't screw very well, but you'll get what you need."

Totally inspired, the dude walks on back to room #6.

As he walks in, he sees the girl laying on the bed. Not a man to waste words (and $5) he hops right on without so much as a word to the whore.

A little of the way through he notices that she isn't putting much effort forth, he's doing all the work.

He thinks to himself "Fuck it. I'll just ram it home and get mine. The Madame said she didn't do much fuckin' anyways."

Well, after he let one fly, he notices all kinds of white shit coming out of her eyes, ears, nose and mouth.

Freaked out, he bails out of there and runs out to the Madame at the front desk with his pants still around his ankles.

"Hey! Hey! There is something wrong with that chick in room 6. Right after I finished all this gross shit started pouring out of her!"

The madame calmly turns around and says "Hey Charlie! The dead one in room 6 is full again!"

 
At 2:44 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Shit. Wait. Dammit....

 

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