Thursday, January 05, 2006

Get Yur Spill Buckets Ready! First Blog Of 2006!

You guys, you won't believe this shit. I came into work yesterday and went to my cube and who should be sitting in my chair? The goddamned Russian intern we had this summer! I thought for a second I had gone back a few months in time (actually, that wouldn't be too bad since I hate winter). He was just sitting there idly playing with a laptop. I blurted out (probably a bit too loudly) "What the fuck are you doing here? You're just visiting, right?" Nope. Turns out the commie cretin is here for his winter break from college. Three weeks! Why, God, are you punishing me? I'm sorry about craping all over "intelligent design". I'm sorry about dissing your other son George W. Bush. No more! I promise.

When I came in today, Turnyourheadandkov asked me if he could re-install the operating system for my computer like he had nothing better to do. "Eet is runnink slow" the Eastern European imbecile mumbled. I said, again probably a bit too loudly, "No shit its running slow! It's an Optiplex 260 that’s about three years old! It’s not an engineering workstation for chrissakes. If you want to speed it up, steal more memory from another computer. And stop installing your stupid fucking shit on it that just slows it down more." Fuck me dead.

On to more important things. I feel bad for those poor dead miners in West Virginia. I know West Va. is not the best or brightest state in the union. Hell, an orgy and a family reunion is the same thing down there. But my dad came from a mining town in Pennsylvania. And I've been in a real mine and you've got to really need to provide for your family in order to do that kind of work. I think about that when things get shitty around here at my job (see above paragraphs). It can't compare.

I heard the mining company that owned the mine that blew-up got fined or could get fined 100K safety violations. That's a lot. Food for thought - if you say "fuck" on the radio, you can get fined 250K. The gummint’s got its head so far up its ass that you would need a serious mining operation to find it. But fear not, our war time hero president is going to launch an "investigation" into the accident. How far do you suppose that will go since the mine is no doubt owned by some fucking subsidiary of Halliburton? Sorry, God, I almost forgot.

It looks like I might need to go under the knife for my bum knee. It could be worse. The poor Cod God is getting his spine replaced soon. Which brings up an interesting scenario - A healthy Cod God. What would that be like? Anyway, I go in for an MRI in a couple weeks. I hope I fit in the damned thing. Due to my lack of exercise and over indulgence during the holidays, I have gained quite a bit of weight. And I was doing Jenny Craig but I had to stop because her husband found out.

4 Comments:

At 10:39 AM, Anonymous thecodgod said...

A healthy Cod God... it just sounds weird.

As far as that damn joint of yours goes, get it fixed dammit!

Between you, me, the Cod Gal, and the Codfather, we might actually make up one healthy person.

Well, structurally at least.

If we start talking internal organs, we're all screwed.

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

My external organ is doing great. I wish it would be screwed.

 
At 7:28 AM, Blogger Allyon said...

"And I was doing Jenny Craig but I had to stop because her husband found out."

Ahahahahaaaaaa.....

"Between you, me, the Cod Gal, and the Codfather, we might actually make up one healthy person."

Don't forget me. Even my physical therapist gave up on me.

 
At 1:43 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

Hopefully they'll give you something cool like a titanium rod or something. Chicks dig that shit. Ask for a Terminator leg, or C-3PO or maybe Gort's knee. That would rule.

 

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