Osama Bin Bukake

Turns out the world’s most evil person, Osama Bin Laden, was a porn freak. It’s been claimed by the White House that the Navy Seals who ventilated Osama’s head found a cache not of weapons of mass destruction but weapons of masturbation. Love it. I can just picture the old bearded goat fucker contentedly spit shining the old water pump while watching “Barnyard Antics 4.” I wonder if he screamed “Allah Akbar!” when he blew his little load.

You wonder why anyone with a whole bunch of wives would need to watch porn. He probably had plenty of sheep and goats handy as well. Maybe he would get his trusted advisors together for a circle jerk. They would all yell “ba-la-la-la-la-la” and “death to America!” as they launched their liquid progeny. Perhaps they were all into an Islamic version of bukake and Osama’s courier would look like a Honey Dew glazed donut after they were all done.

Or, who knows, maybe porn to those pricks was just looking at a woman's ankle. Maybe they were watching “Ankles of Bagdad 4.”

In any case, too bad Osama Bin Laden will miss the Navy Seal snuff film starring Osama Bin Laden.