Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Herman, Bobby, Ray

Random but hilarious/witty/insightful thoughts from yo' gangsta Wheel Gun Bob:

Ole Herman Cain apparently gets more ass than a Grand Canyon tour. But should it disqualify him from being president? No, it’s his idiotic, goofy and dangerous ideas that should disqualify him. It’s not the behind, it’s the 9-9-9. But he is still the most amusing candidate out there so I hope he stays in the race.

Bobby Valentine is now the Red Sox manager. He is an egomaniacal blowhard, sort of the opposite of the most successful manager in Red Sox history, Terry Francona. Can’t wait to see what transpires. I hope he wears more disguises and sneaks back into dugouts after being kicked out of games like he’s done before. Wouldn’t it be great if an umpire ran him and then Bobby comes back dressed as a Rabbi or Darth Vader or Dorothy from the Land of Oz?

The new Mars rover is on its way to the red planet. This sucker is a lot bigger and ballsier than previous rovers. Its nuke powered so if it survives its terrifying trip to the Martian surface then it will potentially last for years. I know the Martians will eventually get sick and tired of avoiding it and hiding from it so they may just zap it with a ray gun after a few months. Or maybe the rover will send back a picture of a sign that says “Fuck off already!” in Martian. And hopefully the Martian holding the sign looks just like Ray Walston.