Friday, February 11, 2005

The Hunch Front Of Vulcan

I just read that they are going to cancel Star Trek Enterprise, one of the few shows I watch on TV. Although not as pissed as when they canceled Far Scape, I was still pretty disappointed. Enterprise wasn't great but it was good. And of course It featured the obligatory chick with giant tits. Hard to believe aliens would ever look so good or wear such tight clothes as T'pol.

My friends and I used to go UFO watching when we were in high school. We would bring an 8MM movie camera and camp out late at night under some power lines and/or near a power plant - well known haunts for flying saucers. Although we were sure the aliens would be friendly and not mind us filming them, I was prepared in case they weren't. I always had my riot 12 GA loaded with buck shot and my 30-06 loaded with FMJ's close at hand. The 30-06 would take down the saucer if it tried to shoot at us with some sort of death ray and the 12 GA would splatter green blood if it ever came to that. Plus I usually had some home made bombs with us as a back up.

We never did have any confirmed sightings of aliens but we did get in trouble once for hanging around too close to the Schiller plant in Newington. Good thing they didn't see the guns. I think they thought we were Rooskies trying to spy on American infrastructure or something. They didn't believe our real reason for being there, the search for extraterrestrials, and told us to get the fuck out before they had us arrested. We all had a good chuckle as we headed over to the Newington Pizza Hut.

In case you don't know it, New Hampshire is a hot bed of UFO activity. We had "Incident At Exeter" (actually took place in Kensington) and the even more famous Betty and Barney Hill abductions. There have been numerous movies, books and documentaries made about both encounters. My favorite was the TV movie starring James Earl "Darth" Jones as Barney Hill.

I got to know Betty Hill. She lived in Portsmouth and used to come into the bookstore I was managing at the time. She had a bag lady aura about her and was, to say the least, eccentric. One day she got all excited because we got a UFO picture book in. She proudly showed me the picture she had taken that was in the book. It was shot near one of the spots my buddies and I used to UFO hunt at. I guess she just never bothered to read the caption under the photo. After Betty left, I read it. It totally dissed the picture saying it was just on coming car head lights off in the distance or something. Then it made mention of what a nut she was. Probably true on both accounts. Betty passed away not long ago.

In her honor, I should get my video camera, a fifth of Jagrmeister and, lest we forget, some serious fire power and go UFO watching again. Sounds like a good time - hanging around outside gazing at the mysterious and wondrous night sky, pounding Jagr, waving guns, looking for E.T.s. I just hope that when I do get to see the aliens, they look like the breasty chick from Star Trek. More then likely though, they will look like pink elephants to me and I will end up shooting my fool foot off.


At 1:36 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

I'll go UFO-watching with ya any time you pinhead! Bring the guns and bombs, the beer's on me.

At 1:52 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

We would need a designated driver. Plus we would not be able to go near any power plants or anything important with guns these days. We would be arrested as enemy combatants and spend the rest of our days in Gitmo. Might be worth it though. Maybe T'pol would rescue us by beaming us up. Then we could beam her. Up.

At 9:20 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

I can just see it now.

"No, officer, I swear, we weren't looking to blow up the Seabrook nuclear power plant, we were out in the woods with guns, bombs, and beer hoping to score an alien chick! Really, you gotta believe us! This is how it works! Don't you know anything about alien women? Idiot. Ow!!!"

At 9:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am SO there... Plus, I am allowed to carry firearms, being a bona-fide barrel-chested freak of nature of an elite infantryman in Uncle Sam's Army.
But , no joke...let's wait until after this week, because this week the VIP's are coming, and us lurking around with guns won't look good to the Secret Service.
By the way, I will drink, but I need to wannr you that a pint and a half of beer last night rendered me helpless on a blind date (and her guide dog peed on me) last night, meaning I am a wussy-queer lightweight. No kidding , this poor girl had to practically carry me home and put me to bed. so , if I do drink , I shouldn't drive. Shooting's fine, though. I shoot expert with the m-16, m-4, m-9, m-240, m-60, m-204, m-249 and 50-cal, as well as knife, bayonet , grenade and other goodies. I'm sure I can shoot well, drunk, too. Just can't date well.


What about Eppin'? we can go boozing, whoring, shooting and UFO hunting in the official center of the universe!!

Someday I'll tell you the "Exorcist" story, about how I was so scared by that movie when I was a kid that I slept with an axenext to my bed that night so I could kill the devil when he came for me. Yup, that's stability for you.

Jonny "the " Hoar

At 9:56 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

Anything from Seabrook is worth blowing up.


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