The Hunch Front Of Vulcan

I just read that they are going to cancel Star Trek Enterprise, one of the few shows I watch on TV. Although not as pissed as when they canceled Far Scape, I was still pretty disappointed. Enterprise wasn't great but it was good. And of course It featured the obligatory chick with giant tits. Hard to believe aliens would ever look so good or wear such tight clothes as T'pol.

My friends and I used to go UFO watching when we were in high school. We would bring an 8MM movie camera and camp out late at night under some power lines and/or near a power plant - well known haunts for flying saucers. Although we were sure the aliens would be friendly and not mind us filming them, I was prepared in case they weren't. I always had my riot 12 GA loaded with buck shot and my 30-06 loaded with FMJ's close at hand. The 30-06 would take down the saucer if it tried to shoot at us with some sort of death ray and the 12 GA would splatter green blood if it ever came to that. Plus I usually had some home made bombs with us as a back up.

We never did have any confirmed sightings of aliens but we did get in trouble once for hanging around too close to the Schiller plant in Newington. Good thing they didn't see the guns. I think they thought we were Rooskies trying to spy on American infrastructure or something. They didn't believe our real reason for being there, the search for extraterrestrials, and told us to get the fuck out before they had us arrested. We all had a good chuckle as we headed over to the Newington Pizza Hut.

In case you don't know it, New Hampshire is a hot bed of UFO activity. We had "Incident At Exeter" (actually took place in Kensington) and the even more famous Betty and Barney Hill abductions. There have been numerous movies, books and documentaries made about both encounters. My favorite was the TV movie starring James Earl "Darth" Jones as Barney Hill.

I got to know Betty Hill. She lived in Portsmouth and used to come into the bookstore I was managing at the time. She had a bag lady aura about her and was, to say the least, eccentric. One day she got all excited because we got a UFO picture book in. She proudly showed me the picture she had taken that was in the book. It was shot near one of the spots my buddies and I used to UFO hunt at. I guess she just never bothered to read the caption under the photo. After Betty left, I read it. It totally dissed the picture saying it was just on coming car head lights off in the distance or something. Then it made mention of what a nut she was. Probably true on both accounts. Betty passed away not long ago.

In her honor, I should get my video camera, a fifth of Jagrmeister and, lest we forget, some serious fire power and go UFO watching again. Sounds like a good time - hanging around outside gazing at the mysterious and wondrous night sky, pounding Jagr, waving guns, looking for E.T.s. I just hope that when I do get to see the aliens, they look like the breasty chick from Star Trek. More then likely though, they will look like pink elephants to me and I will end up shooting my fool foot off.