Worms And Wet Balls

Well, mother fuckers, here I am! Yes sah! Fresh from a grueling day in an IT department during a major virus (worms actually) outbreak. Shit, my fellow workers aren't a really gregarious and fun lot to begin with. But when something bad happens - ooh boy. A fun night.

I got in to work at 4 and went straight to the NOC (network operating center). It's always kept cold there so our servers don't melt. But within five minutes, my balls were sweating rivers. The phones were ringing off the hook, our network monitor was bright red due to the worms pounding the network. People freaking out. No one telling me what's up. I felt like doing what that guy in Slapshot did. Take my clothes off and skate around unconcerned with the madness surrounding me. Of course I'm too damned fat to do that. Plus I don't skate that well.

And then - boom! - at 5:30 everybody leaves. Except me. Holding down the fort. It wasn't until after 9 before I could go to the bathroom and wring my sack out. Keep in mind, everybody - update your Windows constantly! Or go to a Linux operating system. Otherwise the humidity in your genitalia will rise and not in a good way.

The reason I was nudged out of blog retirement was this e-mail from my nephew B-Face responding to an e-mail from The Cod God:

read my blog, I updated it unlike you

Yeah, Bob, update it. Cut and paste this if it helps:

"Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush, and bush bush as well as Bush, plus drinking,and football is gay, football is gay, the Republicans lied (news flash) and Bush. BushBush. Bush."

Hah, hah. I guess that in reality my blogs are about that stupid.

Hey, I gotta go. I've got online lovelies to visit, and a custard chucker to induce to vomit. Thank god my balls are as dry as the Gobi desert.