Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Lost And Shit Faced

Must take quick break from work. Tired. Overwhelmed. Pissed off. Will blog!

Rather than frolic in the freezing rain last weekend, my roommates opted to watch videos. Remember that silly 60's sci-fi TV series "Lost In Space"? Well that's what we watched. A whole bunch of episodes. Now I have a problem with the show: Dr. Smith. He was the antagonist/comic relief for "Lost In Space." But if I was on the crew of the spaceship "Jupiter 2" (yes, for those of you paying attention, that is the name of my band as well), Dr. Smith would be wearing his balls as earrings after his first attempt at sabotage. Instead, the crew inexplicably forgives him! I mean, he is always putting them all in mortal danger episode after episode. Even the most left wing, activist, criminal loving judge would have him tortured and executed if they ever found their way back to earth which of course they can't because Dr. Smith always fucks with the navigation system. Oh the pain!

Dr. Smith is forever peppering the robot with alliterative insults like "mechanical menace" or "adleplated armor-bearer." Wouldn't it have been great if he could have used spicier language? I can just hear it: "You bubble headed bastard!", "You cybernetic son of a whore!", "You mechanized mother fucker!", "You tin plated pig fucker!", "You piezoelectric pile of shit!", "You soldered sodomizer!" If you can think of some more, let me know.

It also would of been a riot if the robot was gay. Can you just imagine him wheeling around in ass-less leather chaps yelling in that monotoned voice of his (with added lisp of course) "Warning, warning hunk approaching!" or "Danger, Will Robinson, the alien life form approaching is a fashion disaster!" or "I will scratch you little eyes out, Dr. Smith!"

And it would be hilarious if the crew regularly got drunk. Just picture Don West putting the drunken moves on under aged Penny or Dr. Smith stumbling around trying to get into Will's pants.

What am I doing? I've got to get back to work.


At 3:53 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

I saw an interview with the actor who played Dr. Smith very shortly before he died - the thing I remember most was that he asserted that every single insult he made against the robot was made up by him, never the writers, and usually on the fly. That's cool. He also said it got tougher to come up with something original after about 5 episodes. That's pretty much all I have. Don't know why I even bothered.


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