2496 Weeks And Counting

Today is my birthday and here is what you can get me:

.500 Smith & Wesson - So I can shoot the elephants or Alaskan brown bear that I occasionally see in my back yard.

Any thing from here: http://www.airhogs.com/.

Parts for a new computer so I can build a Vista machine. Why? So I can review Windows Vista for you, my dear readers. “But you’re an IT fag, surely you can test Vista out at work, right?” Wrong. First of all, my name isn’t Shirley and, secondly, the company I work for is in the middle of licensing renewal negotiations with Microsoft so they ain’t getting any free software (I will devote a blog to this situation soon). Maybe sis-in-law Wheel Gun Maggie will let me play with her new computer.

A gift certificate to the Frank Hawley School of Drag Racing. Hey, I have great reflexes and I’m straight.

A bottle of real Absinthe. Like I could use a little more neurotoxins in my miserable life.

A lifting of the restraining order that keeps me away from my girlfriend Kari Byron.

Tickets to see the Boston Red Sox at Fenway. I know this is a lot to ask for since it costs more to see a game there than it does to put an addition on your house. Speaking of the Sox, have you seen pictures of Curt Shilling at spring training? My god! The guy is so fat that the Red Sox had to call out the National Guard to have him disperse. I know, I know, I should talk.

A trip to Las Vegas with BFace and Anda.

A “Rat ball” - See following blogs for explanation.

A healthy and happy grand nephew Wheel Gun Leo so I can corrupt him.