Tuesday, October 24, 2006

That Empty Feeling In Your Life Is About To Go Away

"Jesus, Wheel Gun Bob, when are you going to update your fucking blog?" is a constant refrain I hear day after day. Well, I finally have an answer: "Now, you assholes!"

First of all, let me get one thing clear. All though I've started up my blogs again after a long period of cloistered soul searching and urine drinking, I am in no way going to add anything new or exciting or different to them. They will consist of the same irritating, pointless rants on the same dull subjects as before (crapping on Republicans, crapping on musicians I hate, complaining about work, etc). Thrilled yet? I thought so.

Like Jack Nicholson said so devilishly in some damned movie, "I'm back!" So grab onto your genitalia (or someone else's) and a way we go!

If any of you pathetic Democrats out there think that you pussies will win back the House and the Senate in November, put down the fucking bong for a minute. Yes, the Republicans are screw-ups of biblical proportion but they have three things going for them:

1) Jack, scratch, moolah, dough, green stuff, samolians, shekles, zlotys. In other words, money. And lots of it. Tons more than the Democrats.

2) Evil genius Karl Rove. You know that fucker has something up his putrid sleeve. Keep an eye out for an October surprise. Osama better be taking extra precautions these next few weeks.

3) The American public hasn't suddenly become any smarter. They will always fall for the same time honored Republican bullshit. Either you are with us or with the terrorists. Democrats are weak on defense, kill babies, burn flags, love fags, hate god and rape kittens - just before they boil them alive and eat them.

Oh, but the Democrats have the liberal media to help their cause, you say. Guess what? The "liberal" media hardly exists anymore. And what's left of it tries so hard not to live up to that moniker that it bends over backwards. That leaves us with Fox "news" and the legions of loud mouthed government propagandists on the radio bleating away about how evil the Democrats are. Jeesh, aren't you glad I'm writing my blog again? Same old crap or what?

Hey, my favorite holiday is coming up. I will have some witty and amusing observations on Halloween for my next blog that's sure to add bulk to your stool. And that blog will be crafted in less than three months, I promise.

Among other topics/shtick you may be seeing soon will be: further ideas for my next career, making someone finally pay for stealing my goddamned sodas at work, translating all my blogs into Lithuanian (that will be so funny, I swear!), tits and more tits.


At 11:53 AM, Blogger Allyon said...

Try Latvian. I've heard it spoken and I swear it sounds like English backwards.

At 12:45 PM, Blogger chris said...

yesterday i had a spontaneous lunch with tom and peg.

karl rove fucks wookies.

At 7:56 PM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

Nice to have you back Bob...can I faht on yah head?


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