Monday, October 04, 2010

What If Blog Was One Of us?

I want to start a goddamned mega church. It would be fun and easy to do since fundamental Christians are so gullible. I would need a catchy name for the church and a catchy name for myself as the head pastor. Any ideas (see below)? You ever notice how well these mega church preachers live, running around in Cadillacs and living in huge mansions? Lotsa donations! I will have to find a woman who will play my wife and she will wear horrible make-up and cry a lot. Of course I will have plenty of affairs on the side like these fools always do but I will draw the line at boffing boys. Will have to work on that southern accent too.

Everything will be tax exempt since it will be a religious institution with no political affiliation. But that won’t stop me from railing against anything and everything connected to those godless, America hating Democrats. And my animosity towards Obama and all the other Muslims will see no equal. Hey, maybe I can even get Sarah Palin to join!

Actually, if you wouldn’t mind, please start sending donations now. I need to at least get a white suit and megaphone. Oh, and a copy of the bible to brandish.

World Wide Church Of The Simpleton
House Of The Holy Donation
Church Of Jesus Who Rode Dinosaurs
Church Of The Unquestioning Believer
Holy Mother Church
Christ Almighty Dollar Church
Church Of The Eager Beaver True Believer
Church Of The Impacted Bowel
The Holy Unnecessary Church
Church Of The Open Carry
Jesus H Kee-riest Jr Church
The House Of Cards Church
The Holy Church of Larry, Moe, Curly and Jesus
The Goddamned Mega Church of Wheel Gun Bob


At 9:26 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

"Church of Jesus Christ Who Rode Dinosaurs"? I'll be laughing about that one for days! How about "Church of Yo Sistah," send all donations care of me?


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