Wasilla Wild Woman v. New Hampshire

On the heels of the outstanding success of “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” I will be submitting a proposal to The Learning Channel for my own series entitled “Wheel Gun Bob’s New Hampshire.” It will show the following:

We can easily out gun Sarah. Tour of gun stores, shooting ranges and gravel pits of NH. We will hunt abandoned cars, split engine blocks, vaporize junked TVs and cut down trees with hot lead. And may god help any liberal squirrels who scamper into range.

My family is more dysfunctional than the Palins. Although in reality no family is as dysfunctional as the Palin brood, I will nonetheless gather my family together in front of the cameras with a keg, spud guns and black gunpowder to show the world what happens. Hijinks will ensue!

The natural beauty of New Hampshire. From the majestic White Mountains to the corner of Main St. and Collins in Seabrook, from the flume in Franconia Notch State Park to Tippy Toe Alley in Epping, viewers will see that we blow Alaska away as far as natural beauty goes. And to drive the point home, I will include some serious T&A shots from Hampton Beach.

We aren’t a state of elitist stuck-ups Like New York. Will interview some solid New Hampshire citizens at the Daniel Street Tavern at 1AM on a Saturday morning and at Gilley’s an hour after that. Salt of the earth, good old American drunkenness. Not a latte sipping egghead will be seen anywhere.

New Hampshire worships the Christian god as much as any Tea-bagger does. We will treat viewers to some serious Muslim harassment. Just as soon as a Muslim person shows up in New Hampshire.

It will be riveting TV.