CRT vs. Smith & Wesson

I was up late the other night flipping channels. Can someone please tell me what's funny about Seinfeld? I saw about five minutes of an episode (which brings my life time Seinfeld viewing total to about 7 minutes) and there was nothing funny or interesting about it. And then there is that really annoying bass music. I ended up watching a movie on the Sci-Fi channel. It's usually that, or the Discovery channel or the History channel. Why the hell do I spend so much money on cable TV? And how come there is no titty channel with basic cable? What's more basic than sex?

You know what one of my ambitions is? To shoot a TV. Really. Not as a political gesture, but just for the hell of it. Now, I have shot TVs in the gravel pit before but I want to shoot a TV that's on in a room just like Elvis did. I would be lying on a couch with a beer in one hand and the clicker in the other just flippin channels like I do. Resting comfortably yet menacingly on the table next to the couch would be my trusty S & Wesson .357 magnum. [Jesus, do you know how annoying it is to try and write a blog with a damned beeper going off every 15 seconds? Our network is experiencing a lot of traffic so our shitty network monitoring program keeps beeping me. Good thing I don't have my .357 with me here at work!]

You might ask why I would choose my dainty .357 magnum to shoot a TV over, say, my .44 magnum or even the mighty Contender. Well it's because I suspect the .357 would probably get the job done. And get it done without blowing the fucking living room windows out. Shit, I've got a shell loader set up in the basement, so I might just load up some special TV shooting cartridges now that I think of it. Might even load 'em up with black powder so the living room is all smoky and stinky after I assault the boob tube.

So Seinfeld better watch out.