Monday, October 06, 2008

HOLY SHIT! Count down to 200

I just noticed something that truly shocked me to the core of my being. I was going to blog about a soap dispenser in one of the bathrooms at work but, when I logged into the blogging console, I saw something I had never really noticed before – a running total of my blogs. Clench your asses tightly now because of what I’m about to tell you - I am up to 180 blogs. Jesusmotherfuckingchristallmighty! What a breathtaking monument to stupidity! A steaming pile of digital fecal matter. A bit bucket full of wasted ones and zeros. At 10 minutes a whack, that means I have spent over 30 hours writing blogs! WTF?

What could I have done with those missing 30 hours if I hadn’t wasted them by blogging? I could have driven to south Florida. Watched Cum Guzzling Freaks volumes 1 thru 15. Made about $250 working at McDonalds. Walked to the White Mountains. Swam to the Isles of Shoals and back. Drank 130 beers. Visited about 1500 porn sites. Watched about 6 major league ball games. Done 30 hours of anticipatory community service. Read War and Peace a couple times. Written 400 new Boot Party songs. Flown to Australia.

Instead, I chose to blow a little sunshine up your miserable little sit-upons.

You're welcome.


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