Hey!

[Ed. Note: Wheelgun Bob has finally come to terms with us and will start blogging again. The negotiations were tough but a huge signing bonus in conjunction with our interns Heidi and Brittany’s persuasive quaffing of Wheelgun’s manhood finally did the trick. Keep in mind that his opinions in no way reflect normal Euclidian reality.]

O.K., it’s been a year since my last witty, profound, life altering, bowel impacting blog. The first thing I’m going to do is have a contest for you, my adoring, rapacious fans. You get to decide the first sentence of my first blog back (this current blog does not count – it’s a “pre-blog” as it were). Here are some suggestions you can vote on. Or you can submit your own (keep in mind I will take full credit for it).

1. Man, are you fuckers ever lucky!
2. Your prayers have been answered.
3. You can end the candlelight vigils now.
4. Yo, yo Wheegun b in da house reprezentin da south side o’ New Hampshire, bizatchez!
5. That’s not my wedding ring, that’s my watch!
6. Hey guys, what have you been up to lately?
7. It is my solemn duty to inform you of blah, blah, blah…
8. God blesh ‘merka!
9. 1-2-3-4!
10. Do you suppose we can get Michael Vick or is he still in jail?
11. Get yur spill buckets ready!
12. Ug not bug, squa shit!
13. Grab your ankles and prepare to be boarded!
14. The end is near and here’s proof.
15. Sarah Palin’s vagina!
16. Let me tell you about the shit I just took.

So, here we go. Let me know what you guys think (assuming you guys actually think and, if so, give a shit)