Tuesday, July 21, 2009

American Standard Orbit

Do you know how much the toilet on the international space station cost? $19 million dollars! That’s a lot of money for an orbiting shitter. You would think that the “Waste and Hygiene Compartment” was made of gold. But it’s not. Why so expensive? And where does the shit go? I suppose it’s not as simple as hanging your ass out a port hole and pinching a loaf. Who knows what the vacuum of outer space would do to your sit-upon. Probably turn you inside out through your rectum. Not much fun I suspect. I would spend $19 mil to prevent that. I just hope that the falling star that I wished upon the other night wasn’t a hunk of astronaut shit.

The space station currently has 13 people onboard and the space commode overflowed the other day. It’s bad enough when that happens on Earth where gravity can at least keep the offal on the floor. And you thought being an astronaut was so glamorous. Do they train astronauts at NASA for unclogging space heads? I bet they do. All contingencies are covered. I just hope it doesn’t become a chronic problem. Does it come with a warranty? Should for the money. I wonder if it was built by American Standard?

I also heard that NASA has a machine that turns piss into drinking water thus reducing the need to bring water to the station. I wonder if you could tweak it a bit to turn piss into beer. I’m fairly efficient at the reverse myself.


At 10:37 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

Seeing as how they are orbiting at roughly 16,000 mph, they should be able to shit into a tube, open it up and have it fly out.


Post a Comment

<< Home