9 MPG Blow Job

Hey, today is Rod Stewart's 60th birthday. Happy birthday, you hoarse voiced has-been! Remember that rumor about how Rod Stewart had to get his stomach pumped from quaffing too much cock? I once had a girlfriend who loved Rod Stewart. I tried to get her to re-enact that rumor on me. She claimed my spoo tasted like a combination of Gilley's chili dogs and PBRs. She preferred to paint. No belly full of liquid children for her. Needless to say we weren't together long.

Oh, and that reminds me. I almost ran a car off the road the other day. And Not by accident. The car in question was one of those big assed Hummer 2's. It had a yellow "support our troops" magnet attached to it's tailgate. I don't know how the idiot driving that gas sucking monster feels he's supporting the troops. No doubt the clueless mother fucker is unaware of the irony of driving a gas hog while our troops are dying for oil. Well I would of driven that un-American piece of shit off the road except I was driving a gas sipping jokeswagon and would of bounced off the damned thing. Maybe I will load up my .357 and put it under my drivers seat in case I see him again. But knowing my luck, it will be amour plated unlike a lot of the real Humvees in Iraq.

60 years old. Christ.