Monday, January 17, 2005

Peyton Manning

I feel like a pile of dog shit. My back hurts, my right knee is swollen and sore and I'm tired. Good thing the Patriots won yesterday otherwise I would be in a really foul mood. I bet those football players feel like I do today, all sore and shit. But I didn't run into a single 300LB defensive lineman yesterday. So what's my excuse? I think it's my attitude more than anything else. I should try to cheer up. There are many things to look forward to.

Like The Iraq elections. I wonder if people will be having bake sales at the polling places like we do here. Perhaps you could by a cup cake made of C-4. I would love to get my hands on some C-4. A couple cases of beer, some C-4 and a gravel pit preferably with a bunch of junked cars. Talk about an afternoon of fun. Maybe I should volunteer for duty in Iraq. Except I'm too old, out of shape and mentally unbalanced. Fuck, now I'm unhappy again. Must think of good things.

Chicks. Babes. WOMEN. Now that's a good thing to think of. Tits and ass! Why do Muslims want to cover that stuff up? No wonder they're so damned cranky. Women rule. And if women really did rule, the world would be a lot better off. Less pointless wars. Starving children would be higher on the list of priorities than anti-missle defense systems. And hopefully they would take pity on us poor bastards and let us keep our titty bars. Speaking of which, I want to put a picture of a babe on my computer desktop here at work except they made me sign this long anti-sexual harassment thing. Do you think a picture of two women going at it with a double-ender or a good glistening gyno close-up on my desktop will offend any one? I will probably get fired.

Oh, and how could I forget the up-coming inauguration? Celebrating another 4 years with zippy the shit head. Now that's something to look forward to. Watching our country burn to the ground like the Rome of Nero. Only instead of playing a fiddle, Dubya will roping cattle on his fucking ranch. Man, my head hurts.

Look, there's no cheering me up. Forget it. I bet you Peyton Manning feels about the same way. Oops - I just smiled.

3 Comments:

At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck Peyton's Place.

 
At 5:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Women ruling would result in less pointless wars? You ever seen two broads going at it over a fucking parking space outside of Filene's when there's a sale on? I have. Fox Run Mall, January of '89. Hair-pulling, skirt-ripping fun. Yeah, women are far more rational then men. It was a fucking PARKING SPACE. One of HUNDREDS. Trade in your Harley for a little pink bike, ya bleedin' pooftah! Oi!
Hey, don't worry about the inauguration, it has to happen. One guy lost, the other guy won, and he has to get inaugurated into office again. That's the way the game is played. Don't watch. Simple.

On the other hand, you must watch the Pats-Steelers game on Sunday. Some things, after all, are important.

Briefcase

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

We would have a war every month that would last anywhere from 4-7 days.

 

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