Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Katrina And The Waves

Wow, that was some hurricane! Not because of the death and destruction it caused but because it made our faux cowboy president cut his vacation short by 2 days! Even the ungodly mess in Iraq couldn't do that. I guess all that brush in Crawford will have to wait to be cleared until his next vacation in a couple weeks.

I love how people fall for this whole cowboy, man of the people routine Bush puts on. I bet most folks don't even realize he was born in New Haven, Connecticut and went to Yale (yes, home of pointy headed liberal elitists). He has never had to do a real days work in his life. His daddy has helped him get every job he ever had (and screwed up) and helped him avoid everything bad from jail time to the Vietnam war. I bet the fucker has absolutely no idea how the rest of us live. Remember, his dad didn't even know how much a dozen eggs cost.

And as far as that woman protesting outside his "ranch", it sounds like she’s doing a pretty damned good American thing. Remember protesting? We've all forgotten how. We just suck up what ever the gummint tells us as gospel truth with out questioning anything. And if any newspaper or TV channel dares not toe the line, they are branded as having a "liberal bias." God, our founding fathers must be spinning in their graves. Come on people, wake up! Ask questions! Be cynical!

Here’s a little exercise you "conservatives" should do. For one week, try really hard and pretend Bush is actually Hillary Clinton. Now, would you maybe just be a little hesitant to blindly believe everything she said? Keep it in mind. I hope she's never president but if she is, I will question everything she says and does like I'm sure you would. And just because he has nicer legs doesn’t mean you should trust George W. anymore you would Hillary.

Oh, and about New Orleans. I once spent a couple weeks there. I loved the place. I loved walking down the street drinking a 24oz beer in broad daylight with no one hassling me. I loved the food and music. Now it's a big ole swimming pool. Oh, well. If ever I get a vacation, instead of cutting it short like our hero did, I will put C.J. Chenier on the stereo, drink several 24oz beers and then cook up some spicy jambalaya. And no, I won't clear any fucking brush.


At 1:57 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

Leave it to the Uncle Bob to turn a natural catastrophy, killing dozens, into a rant against Bush, as if he fucking ordered the hurricane! Wow! Oprah says, Way to promote your cause, Mr. Cruise. Looking good!

Anyways, Bobert, on to the praise: "Katrina and the Waves" is a good one! How come nobody else thought of that? We should all be shamed. No, I'm not being sarcastic. That really was a great one.

Ok, switching gears: As far as protesting goes, I think maybe your head's as far up your butt as you claim Bush's is if you truly believe that Americans have "forgotten protesting." Come on down to Boston some day. Any day. The hippies are out in droves near Beacon Hill and in Cambridge, not to mention the protests in DC and all over the countr....wait, all over the world. Go put on Joni Mitchell and pine for the sixties like the rest of them, just don't think that no one protests these days. It's as fashionable as ever. Ask any hollywood actor chained to a tree. It's just not in the news. But I've seen them bog up the Longfellow Bridge, the Mass. Ave bridge, and Harvard Square (and all along Mass. Ave at random, come to think of it). Your "good Americans" have succeeded in pissing everyone off many a time. You just may not see it on your local news. Maybe there's a reason for that. The "liberal" media might just get a whiff of common sense and decide not to put these impotent wanna-be rabble-rousers on the air so more misguided pinheads aren't encouraged to come down and fuck shit up for everyone else trying to get on with life. You wanna protest? Go to the White House. It ain't getting any attention in Harvard Square, Arlo.

Hey Bob, how much is a dozen eggs? Websearches not allowed.


At 11:30 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

I avoid Mass. at all costs. The only reason I step foot in your godforsaken state is that I have to work there. Then I get the hell out as fast as I can. But I will take your word about the protesters. But are you sure they are protesting the war or latte prices?

I pay no attention to Hollywood. As should you.

I'm a vegitarian so I don't eat eggs.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

It's not my state, I was born at the Wentworth-Douglas Hospital in Dover, NH. And you? I don't like this state. But I'm here now, so I have to deal with it.

The asses very well may be protesting the price of lattes. That wouldn't surprise me. Fact is, whatever they're blathering on about is lost upon the people trying to get past them. No one listens and they are in essence hurting their own cause. I couldn't cross the Mass. Ave bridge once last year because of these doinkheads crowding it with their unshaven, unwashed bodies and hastily scribbled signs. Instead of ruminating on how I should perhaps join their cause, I spent 35 minutes entertaining thoughts of hippicide, dancing like sugarplums in my head. Idiocy abounds in this country.
I'll never understand why anyone thinks that what they blather on about will change people's minds. Present blog administrator excepted of course. But for real, if you agree with, say, Cookie Monster about cookies, then you'll love him. If you hate cookies, his saying "Coooooookie! Coooooookie!" ain't gonna turn you, bub. And if he does it while sitting in the middle of the street while you're trying to make a delivery, or get to work, or go visit your grandmother, then you're going to end up hating his fucking guts. So there's your good American protest.

You don't like something? DO SOMETHING. A little "sit-in" won't make the world go, "Boing! Wow! They're right! Let's listen to these annoying little shits!"

Sorry, it's reality.

At 12:45 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Protests might inconvenience you, but they can make a government down right nervous. Just witness the right wing attacks on that protesting mother. Anything that makes the government and it's one party rulers nervous is good in my book.

At 1:20 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

Protests make the government nervous.

Good grief.

At 10:21 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

Bob, I think that I can say without a doubt that the President, no matter who it is, has little, if any knowledge of any protest that goes on at anytime. They don't give a shit what we think. The only way that they ever work is during an election year, and as we all know, this ain't one.

As far as them not happening, they just had a big one about a half mile from your house.

And eggs...

I just bought a dozen yesterday (yes, I actually went to the store this time, not the Cod Gal) and I can't tell you what they cost. $1.50? $2.00? I believe that it depends on the size.. you know, just like butt-plugs.

ps- I'm an asshole, so I know how to spell "asshole"... it's "vegetarian"

pps- can you be a veggie if you eat tuna tacos?

At 10:42 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:44 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

Bobert, if you're not even aware of protests in your back yard, don't expect the government to be aware of them, let alone afraid of them.

I was thinking today, maybe alot of the lack of impact by protests comes from the people who are involved. I was at a Mexican bar the night before we started bombing Iraq and there was this absolute ditz from Harvard there to perform acoustic crap and "poetry." She had a white armband on with a peace symbol scrawled on with a sharpie. On TV they showed a night-vision view of a street in Baghdad and she stood under the TV and pointed at a streetlight (a STREETLIGHT!) and said, "Ohmygod, is that a bomb? That right there, is that a bomb?" Then, during a conversation with a fellow student: "Are you going to protest tomorrow? Should I? Do you think I should? What time are you going? Should I go? What are you doing? I'll call you. Ohmygod, should I do it? I'm gonna do it!"
These are the people who put fear into the government. Riiiight.

At 2:54 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Of course you are right as always, BFace. Lord knows you are above all us mortals. Protesters suck! How dare they get in your way! What, were you on your way to a Hootie And The Blowfish concert or something? How dare they inconvinience you! You are so much better/smarter/cooler than them.

Just you wait - one of these days the gummint is going to ban high-top sneakers or The Rolling Stones stadium concerts. Then you'll be out protesting.

And another thing: You sure write a lot of comments to other people's blogs but you are too cool(or chicken-shit?) to write your own blog. You can dish it out but can't take it.

Good Grief!

At 3:38 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

Hey fuckwit. Check my blog.

Nice one.

At 3:59 AM, Blogger B-Face said...

Let's go a little further, though.

First off, you're correct in that I am always right. Why even shoot your piehole off if you don't believe you're right?

Admitting someone else is right is unbecoming, Bobert. Argue. Act like a dink. Follow my lead here.

In the past I've wondered why you constantly claim that I think I'm above everyone, but recently I've realized that you take blah blah blah to heart and really think I believe that. Cool, my job here is done.

Protesters do suck, actually. No I wasn't going to see Hootie and the Blowfish. That's your milieu, not mine. I was going home after dropping a gift off to a relative of my girlfriend. And the protesters sucked, yes indeed. If I, behind the wheel of an '89 Honda Accord, felt murderous rage towards the weirdly dancing filthbags, then I can't imagine Joe Suit being nervous behind his desk, locked doors, security guards, voting public, legislation, etc. Sorry, it's the way it is. Protesters do nothing but insure that public servants pay them no heed. It's like shooting yourself in the foot. Maybe Wheelgun don't like it, but it be the way it goes.

By the way, thanks for pointing out that I am "better/smarter/cooler/" than them. I'm blushing here.

High-top sneakers. The government's going to ban them. Then I will protest. Two things I will not dignify with a response. And I thought your "Jesus was a liberal" and "Protesting makes the government nervous" comments were amazing.

Blogs: I have written in mine, Zippy. But who cares where you post things? It could be here, it could be there. Does it make it any different where one says something? Am I, as you say it, a "chicken-shit" if I blather on here rather than there? Who gives a crap?

The Stones were fucking great, by the way. Rolling Stones. Fenway Park. Awesome. Sorry bubby, they were awesome.

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At 8:31 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

good for you

now go away


Bob, let's go shoot something... soon.

I'll bring some Bush cutouts for you to kill and I'll bring some hippie cutouts for me. Hell, I may even make one of my stingy pharmacist. He deserves it.

After we're done filling them full of lead, we'll piss on them.

Hey, remember the door? Yeah, that door. The door that almost got us arrested.

Good times, good times.

At 2:15 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

BFace is blogging! Ha! He is actually writting in his blog! Yee-fucking-haw! I stand WAY corrected! I'm so happy I could crap someone else!

At 7:12 PM, Anonymous jOhnny said...

Being on the penultimate plane out of Nawlins Sunday afternoon, with booze still oozing out my pours, the sweet stench of hookers on my junk, my upper lip glazed like a donut and one last set of un-thrown beads in my pocket, let me tell you how fucked up it was down there in the last few hours before the storm hit. People everywhere with no way to flee the city because they're broker than Wheel-Gun after a trip to Pure Platinum just sitting on the stoop waiting to die with their kids. Fucking sad. No mandatory evacuation could be ordered for people because that would cause legal issues. Can't order a mandatory evacuation if you don't have a way to move everyone. Fucking douchebag politicians... always looking at the legal aspects. Bush, Hillary, Republican, Democrat - they all blow donkey in Tijuana and I have a bootleg copy of the tape. None of them are concerned with anything beyond their big fat checks and free health care.
Undoubtedly, since it's a well known fact that Bush hates poor people, he ordered Greyhound to stop running busses Saturday a full day before the storm(they did), Amtrak to stop running their falling-off-the-rails trains on Saturday (they did), and probably threatened cabbies under pain of death or removal of their driver-seat-massage-your-ass-cheek beads to not pick anyone up on Sunday morning while we were roaming the streets of the French Quarter figuring out which stores we were going to loot the next day if we couldn't get out. Walgreens on Royal was the #1 choice, which you've no doubt seen on the news already because it was one of the first to go. The James H Cohen & Sons antique weapons shop, also on Royal, was second. But Jerome - the best driving brother on the planet - said a big Fuck You to our New-Cue-Lar President and showed up with a van at 11am Sunday on Bourbon Street. If Jerome is still around I'd like to send him a pack of Winston's and a Schlitz Malt Liquor 40. He was probably the difference between me being home and me finding the WalMart down there to loot the gun counter and a couple of bags of Cheetos.
And yes, Katrina and the Waves jokes where flying (amongst us, horrifying the newlyweds in the van with us) while we were fleeing for our drunk-ass lives. Nothing funnier when you're staring death down like the bitch he is than one hit wonder jokes.

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