Happy Halloween Mutha Fuckas!

This is my favorite holiday of the year. I had a great time last night scaring the crap out of little kids coming to my door. I dressed up like a vampire with lots of blood coming out of my mouth and set up a fog machine in the front yard. "Mommy, that man scares me! Wa-a-a-ah!" What a riot! I almost ran out of candy, we had so many trick-or-treaters. It also didn't help that I ate as much as I gave out. Then me and my pal Tom pounded Bud pounders and watched football instead of having band practice. Great night.

I thought of a great costume for next year. I will make a toilet out of wood and cardboard. I will wear it so my upper body comes out of the seat. Then I will fashion a pair of fake legs and ass to sit on the pot with white, studded pants around the ankles. My real legs will go down to the ground through the toilet so I can walk around. I will then dress up like Elvis and wear blueish make-up so I look dead. It will be great. Maybe Little Dougie Porksword can help me with this project.