Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Zero-G Duck Sauce

Almost everywhere you go you can find a Chinese restaurant. I mean, you go way up to Moosefuck Maine where the population is limited to a couple dozen drooling inbreds, and you want some General Tsiao's Chicken, chances are you can get it. Even some god forsaken pig fucking hell hole that is fifty miles from the nearest Wal-Mart will have Moo Goo Gai Pan readily available. It's amazing. I remember going on rafting and camping trips up in Maine and the further you would go into the sticks, the less signs of civilization you would see. But if you were hungry for some Chinks, you were all set. Because there would always be a Chinese restaurant somewhere near your destination.

I was wondering why the Chinese have a space program. They just sent a couple guys into orbit for a few days and you'd think "Been there, done that. That is like, so sixties." But it makes sense. We now have a permanent space station in orbit around the earth and even under the best circumstances it is a couple hundred miles from the nearest Chinese restaurant. So, being very clever, the Chinese are going to build a restaurant up in near Earth orbit. Our astronauts and various aliens will never be in want of a good Poo Poo Platter again. Or Scorpion Bowl for that matter - the little green men could get totally shellacked before the invasion.


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At 6:39 AM, Blogger jOhnny said...

there can't be outer space chinese restarants until we enroll cats in the space program.
Even the retards at football betting tips know that.

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Good point. But there have been some dogs in space. I think Laika, the first dog the Rooskis sent up, is still in orbit. And since she is freeze dried, she could still end up on the menu.

At 11:18 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

There is nothing quite so sweet as a steaming bowl of CreamOfSomeYoungGuy.

Mmmm mmmm, bitch.

At 12:00 PM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

I think its PU PU platter...but I like yours better.

At 2:46 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Sorry. I was actually going to look online for a Chinese menu so I could spell the shit right but then I thought that would be too much effort.


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