I Need A Lewinsky

It's Friday. This fucking week is almost over and I'm glad as shit. This is going to be one of those "random thoughts" blogs -

I know I swore off politics and pointed you folks to the vastly more entertaining Rude Pundit, but I must mention that this coming week will be a significant one as far as politics goes. Special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is expected to hand down indictments to those involved in the Valerie Plame leak scandal. This whole scandal is far more important than the crankgobblegate of Bubba Clinton. This is serious. But a lot less entertaining. I just wish there was a sexual component to it. There is a small scatological component to it at least: Karl Rove's nickname is "Turd Blossom" (that should serve him well in jail). But that's it.

So Wheel Gun Bob, you sports loving motherfucker, who do you want to win the World Series - The Chicago White Sox or the Houston Astros? I want the Boston Red Sox to win, that’s who. True story: The Houston Astros were going to have a minor league team in Kissimmee, Fla. but decided against calling it the "Kissimmee Astros" for some reason.

The NBA has come out with a dress code for its players. I guess it's because a lot of them dress in that hip-hop/gang-bang/prison garb and it scares white people. I just think it looks clownish. Every time I see a picture of Alen Iverson, I think that Ringling Bros. must be in town. And whenever they show a shot of the players entering the stadium for a game, I think they must have all arrived there in a single miniature car.

Another goddamned hurricane is fucking shit up in the Gulf of Mexico. Like my penis, it started off huge and is now expending its energy quickly. Global warming? Keep in mind two things - 1) Global warming does exist, it's not some liberal fantasy and 2) The power and duration of a hurricane is affected greatly by water temperature. So what to do about it? Move to New England were the weather is always nice.

Well, that's it for now. Must get back to work. Here's hoping that Karl Rove has the physical ability and stamina to grasp his ankles for hours at a time.