Two Seemingly Unrelated Thoughts

We are doomed. The flying saucers are already here. Or at least in Cleveland. Actually, that fact alone might save us from an impending invasion. They take one look at Cleveland through their alien, multi spectral sensing compound eyes and they might say “fuck this shit, let’s head somewhere else.” We know the only reason they kept coming back up to this point is because they had been to New Hampshire. Now this visit to Cleveland might dissuade them from any future cattle mutilating or anal probing or carrying out plans to dominate the earth. I know my leather cheerio feels safer already.

While on the subject of anuses, how about that attorney general of ours? This country has had some stink-o attorneys general (John Ashcroft, Ed Meese, Web Hubble to name a few) but Alberto Gonzales is a real steaming pile of lying shit. I hope the fucker it forced to resign. I predict that will happen this week. I will celebrate.