Friday, September 25, 2009

More Therapy

Due to my present woeful state, I have not been able to do much save carve the occasional blog out of the digital ether for you, my fans at Wheelgun Nation. Although not explicitly approved by my team of doctors, I am convinced that these blogs are the key to my ultimate recovery. Or at least the key to irritating a few people. Anyway, I shall proceed.

I went and visited my fucked up drummer the other day. What I mean by fucked up is that he is fucked up above and beyond the usual fucked up associated with drummers. See my last brilliant blog for an explanation. Anyway, he can't do much but wiggle a couple fingers and take pain killers. Good thing he has a hot girlfriend to tend to him. I wish I had a hot girlfriend to tend to my needs. Actually, I would take a lukewarm girlfriend at this point.

I want to start a secret society. You know like the Masons or the Illuminati. Why? I want to become part of a conspiracy theory. Plus it would be fun to come up with secret rituals and symbols. Perhaps Dan Brown would feature my secret society in his next book. I could call it the Reeses. Any of you guys remember that freakish childhood actor Mason Reese?

I would anoint myself the Grand Poobah/Wizard/Alpha-male-top-dog-mother-fucker of the Loyal Order Of Reese (LOOR) and hold secret meetings at Tens in Salisbury. In between jello shots and drooling, we will plot a new world order. What will this new world order look like? I will save that for another blog.

I wish the government would bailout old punk rock bands. They could call it “Cash for Punkers.” Any punk rocker over 50 would be eligible to be turned in for an 18 year old. I thought about getting 5 good looking kids to replace all the members of Jupiter 2. We would still do all the music and recording but these young studs would lip synch our songs on stage ala Milli-Vanilli. It's all about looks these days.

Hey, I just realized it's time for my next electroshock treatment. Don't want to be late since they will up the juice if I am. Gotta go.


At 5:03 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

"Cash for punkers." I like it.


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