Thursday, September 17, 2009

Post Traumatic Blog

Hey, you blog starved muthafuckas! Wheelgun be in da house! Yessa! I have been laying low as of late due to a serious health condition. Won't give you ghouls the details but I will tell you this – it wasn't physical. Surprise! Anyway, as part of my road to recovery I figured I would exercise my creative genius by sculpting a blog out of ones and zeros just for you. So happy now you could shit, right?

I had to cobble together an old laptop from parts for the task since my other one went missing. I think perhaps a pissed off girlfriend made off with it. Can't blame her. So I was able to, through my considerable IT fag skills, make a machine able to handle my legendary blogs. I have the air/fuel mixture just about right but the keyboard doesn't work very well so if you see a wrd with a letter missing, try to figure out what it is by it's context. Well, without further ado, here we go...


Healthcare reform:

If this healthcare bill doesn't pass and I get denied coverage in the future due to a “pre-existing condition” (lord knows I have plenty), I will send my bills to Glen Beck, Sean Handjob and Rush Dimbulb. Those shit heads can afford anything, the rest of us can't. I know that I have been struggling mightily with the insurance company over my recent affliction.

Obama:

Seems to have bit off a bit more than he can chew but the jury is still out. As I have said before, I am convinced that there are a lot of people out there who can't cope with a scary negro as president – witness that jack-off who yelled at him during his healthcare speech. Surprised he was from the south?

Red Sox:

I was very worried for a few weeks there but it looks like they are a safe bet for the wild card spot. After winning 7 in a row they seem to be firing on most cylinders at about the right time. Not sure how far they will get in the play offs though. Hey, can anyone locate Pedro's midget?

Patriots:

Due to my delicate condition, I almost had a relapse watching the game the other night. In the future, lets have a few more laughers and run up the score just like old times OK?


Well, that's about all I can do at the moment. I'm off to see some nice people in white coats and I don't want to be late. Plus the battery on this damned piece of shit laptop is about dead. Gotta work on that.

1 Comments:

At 10:10 AM, Blogger Allyon said...

I'm impressed. You still believe the Red Sox can do it. A perfect example of how our expectations changed after 2004.

 

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