Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Beat It

[Ed. Note: Once again, I plopped down for a couple of minutes last night in order to write this blog and then a shit storm blew in and I forgot to post it. So here it is. Worth the wait.]

It's Monday, boys and girls, and things aren't going so well here at work. I would tell you all about it except I don't really have time to and besides, I go on about work too much as it is. So fuck it with a pressure treated 4X4 I say.

I bet you have all been waiting to hear my take on the Michael Jackson trial outcome. So here it is. First of all, I never liked him as a performer. His breathy, squeaky way of singing always drove me nuts. And it inspired a generation of Michael Jackson sing-a-likes like all those goddawful boy bands (FYI - my #1 pet peeve, Eddie Vedder imitators, drive me even more insane).

But I will bet you an expensive bottle of Jesus juice that he is a pedophile. I know I wouldn’t let my kid near him. I wouldn’t let my cat near him. I wouldn’t let my sea monkey come close to him. Hell, if I had to go with in a 100 yards of him myself, I would be sure to suture my asshole shut and cover it with strapping tape. Of course I’m probably a little old for him.

Actually I hardly paid any attention to the trial. I can’t stand celebrity trials. I can’t stand celebrities. And America is obsessed by them. I think I will move to Norway.

9 Comments:

At 3:32 PM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

I'm sick of hearing him referred to as "the King of Pop". He should be referred to as "the King of popping little boy's butt cherries."

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger Erin Nicole said...

ick.

but true.

 
At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You come across as so-o-o-o-o negative! Anyway, Jackson is a perverted creep beyond anyone's doubt, but the LA DA (la-dee-da) sure picked a losing case to prove it with.

 
At 8:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

u r all just haters micheal jackson will always cell more recordsthan n e 1
so stop hating on the best singer of all tim and try to get a life i mean really y do u hate on tyhe gratest singer and most taltented performer of all tim go 2 hell all of u
MICHEAL WAS INNOSENT

 
At 12:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, you can't be terribly old to type like that.

Did Michel, er, Michael have his way with you and now you must defend him on random blogs? Who gives a flying fudgecicle about celebrity trials anyways? The dude's a shitty singer and probably a pedophile with MAJOR mental issues. If WGB here wants to say his opinion on it then shut the hell up and deal with it.

Jeez....

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger The Cod God said...

I wouldn't let me kids near him either.....without a certified check in hand.

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger CptLeech said...

Who cares, I want to hear some nitrus stories! God I miss THE GAS.

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Erin Nicole said...

cod god thought you might like this, bob:

TEXAS SURGEONS


Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat.

Now he's president of the United States."

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Ha!

 

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