When I win The Lottery

So everyone around here at work is in a chipper goddamned mood. Rumor has it a big layoff will happen Thursday. Could be a couple hundred people. My manager told me to take the next two days off. Coincidence?

Let me say this - If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't work. I'm not like those idiots who win the lottery and say they will keep their stupid little job. No fucking way. The only thing I would do is work part time at Ceres Bakery so I could hang with the babes.

Man, I've got at least twenty years until retirement. Maybe I will start buying lottery tickets. You know I have never done that? I have never bought a lottery ticket or scratch ticket or what ever. I'm sorry, it just seems so white trash to me. But I think I will head into the nearest packy tomorrow and buy a forty, some cheese doodles and a lottery ticket. Then I will go home, watch a "Cops" marathon and wait for the lottery numbers to be announced. Wouldn't you guys shit if I won?

You know what I would do with the money? Buy a farm. In the continuing attempt to depress the hell out of myself, I read this article the other day. It got me thinking. Oil will run out soon and in the mean time get really expensive, so buying a Dodge Viper isn't a good bet. I want a big ole farm with a house that has a back porch I can shoot my guns off of with out pissing off the neighbors. It's always been a dream of mine.

And when I do win, I promise to buy all you guys dinner at Gilley's. Since only one or two people read this blog, that won't be too expensive.