Tuesday, December 23, 2008

255 Degrees In The Shade

I am such a pussy when it comes to winter since I have never really adapted to cold weather. I’m not happy until it’s 95 and humid. I would rather my balls be bathed in sweat than gone south for the winter. It was about 10 degrees Fahrenheit when I got up this morning. Or 255 degrees Kelvin. In either case, my testicles were cowering next to my Adam’s apple. 

I was very tempted to make myself a hot toddy, toss a porn into the VHS and not venture to work. Which gets me to the real gist of this blog, my employment. As you probably know, since you are no doubt an avid reader of this blog like so many, I work in an IT department for a semi-conductor company in Massachusetts. I know times are tough all over (unless you are a defense contractor or bankruptcy lawyer) but things are beyond tough in the semi-conductor biz. No sales period. And none forecasted until late next year if we are lucky. So what to do with all the employees with nothing to do? Get rid of them! This year alone we have booted over a 1/3 of our work force which was already down considerably from the year before. 

So why am I still employed? Got me. And those of us survivors will have to endure weeks of unpaid shutdowns in the coming months. Needless to say morale aint all that high at work. And it doesn’t help ole Wheegun’s fragile nerves to be in this situation. Remember, I’m the one who stays awake at night worrying about the asteroids hitting the Earth. I’m a godawful wreck. 

“What can we do to help, Wheelgun?” I hear you all ask. I suppose the answer really depends on your gender, if you know what I mean. But apart from that, please take me out drinking! I need to get out more! Even if it’s a really cold night, since I’ve devised a ball warmer made from an old car heater. I will just have to drag a 12 volt automotive battery around with me. Lord Kelvin would be proud.


Post a Comment

<< Home