Monday, November 02, 2009

No Place Like Homo

I’m suffering from my first cold of the season. Hopefully it’s not the swine flu. I don’t see how it can be since I have not fucked a pig since the Deerfield fair. I will just have to pound down the rum and honey until I’m feeling no pain. Despite this malady, I will try and cram some sunshine up your asses with a blog.

I was in the Portsmouth Halloween parade Saturday night. It was a riot. I was dressed as Dracula with blood spewing out of my mouth. And I got to march with these two cool little kids I know so despite the oppressive crowds it was fun.

Present at this parade were plenty of chicks in hot outfits, I tell you. There was this one raging babe dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz. Short little skirt, white thigh-highs and high heeled ruby slippers. I was busy ogling her and filling up the spank bank when I was momentarily distracted. When I looked back she had apparently moved up ahead so I advanced to a better vantage point. Then I realized she was a he! Jesus god! But before you disparage my masculinity and call me a homo, I need to tell you that there were two Dorothys identically dressed, one male and one female. I was lusting after the female one. Really.

I was supposed to hook up a certain chick at the parade but there must have been over ten thousand people crammed downtown so I missed out. Word is getting out of Wheel Gun Bob's new availability to the opposite sex and his calendar is rapidly getting full! Take a number if you have a vagina and you dig me. I promise I won’t suck too much of your blood.


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