Wednesday, December 16, 2009

just cuz she jacked uh lot o' money from me

I just looked over my last few blogs. I try to avoid re-reading my blogs at all cost because I see all sorts of grammar and speling mistakes when I do that plus I have the extremely annoying habit of writing run-on sentences that seem to go on forever, never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning wheel like a snowball down a mountain or a carnival balloon like a carousel that's turning running rings around the moon like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes on its face and the world is like an apple whirling silently in space like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind.

What I found dismayed me. Anyone unfortunate enough to have read my blogs of late would be justified in thinking “Wheelgun Bob. What a miserable fucking bastard!” I complain about my ex-girlfriend too much and bellyache about my life in general too much. Well, I am going to turn over a new leaf. Just because times are tough for ole’ WGB don’t mean I gotta give into them.

Take my ex-girlfriend (please!) for example. Things could be worse. We could have been married and/or had kids together. Man, I would be suicidal if that were the case. Shit! Thank god for small favors. And just because she stole a lot of money from me isn’t the end of the world. I can still earn enough to retire when I’m 104.

I have decided what I’m going to do. I am going to take what little money I have left and move south. Maybe even to Mexico. It’s warm down there and I can catch a decent donkey show whenever I want.

[Ed. Note: The following is a translation of this blog into Ebonics]

I just looked over muh ma fuckin last few blogs. I try ta avoid re-reading muh ma fuckin blogs at all cost cuz I see all sorts o' grammar an' speling mistakes when I do dat plus I gots da extremely annoying habit o' writing run-on sentences dat seem ta jet on forever, never ending or beginning, on an ever spinning wheel like uh snowball down uh mountain or uh carnival balloon like uh carousel dat'sturning running rings around da moon like uh clock whose hands iz sweeping past da minutes on its face an' da world iz like an apple whirling silently in space like da circles dat ya find in da windmills o' yo' mind.

What I found dismayed me. Anyone unfortunate enough ta gots read muh ma fuckin blogs o' late would be justified in thinking “Wheelgun Bob. What uh miserable fucking bastard!” I complain about muh ma fuckin ex-girlfriend too much an' bellyache about muh ma fuckin life in general too much. Well, I be going ta turn over uh new leaf. Just cuz times iz tough fo' ole’ WGB don’t mean I gotta give into dem.

Take muh ma fuckin ex-girlfriend (please!) fo' example. Things could be worse. We could gots been married and/or had kids together. Man, I would be suicidal if dat wuz da case. Shit! Thank god fo' small favors. And just cuz she jacked uh lot o' money from me isn’t da end o' da world. I can still earn enough ta retire when I’m 104.

I gots decided what I’m going ta do. I be going ta take what little money I gots left an' move south. Maybe even ta Mexico. It’s warm down dere an' I can catch uh decent donkey show whenever I wants.

w0rd!

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