Go White Guys!

Oh my aching sit-upon, has your hero Wheelgun Bob had a time of it of late! I was minding my own damned business at a stop light the other day when some jack-off decided my car was too long and that he would remedy the situation by ass-ending me into a pancake. Good thing I wasn't on my Harley or Wheelgun B would be orbiting with the Space Shuttle Atlantis right now. What the fuck did I do in a past life to deserve the shit swamp I'm mired in now? Huh?

Then there is the internet. You know, the thing that they put on computers these days? Well, my swank bachelor pad may be a pelt magnet but it has one serious drawback. It gets only spotty Comcrap internet. And the fuckers won't come over to switch out their shitty modem unless I have the account number. And that account number resides with the owner of my crib who is jaunting about Europe as we speak. So I get maybe five minutes of quality surfing every two hours or so. And internet porn doesn't watch itself, you know. Shit, I might not be able to post this blog! Good god!

I will leave you with this cheerful observation. I was driving around in the rental car (a beautiful shit brown 4WD Kia Sportage) kindly provided by my assailant's insurance company when I got in back of a big ole pick-up truck with North Carolina license plates. It had a large bumper sticker that read “Legalize The Constitution.” And underneath it was a smaller bumper sticker that screamed “Go white guys!” WTF? I was going to shorten this mother fucker's car into a pancake but thought the better of it.