Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The Vultures Are Circling, Goddamnit

I’m cowering these days awaiting life’s next big dick punch. Someone put a stuffed vulture in my cube at work as a joke but it’s not even funny. My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.

I am in a shitty mood. So I am going to spew some vitriol your way via this blog. It won’t make me feel any better but if I can bring you down a notch or two to be closer to me, then perhaps it will be worth it.

I need some part time work. I work full time as an IT fag but my evil ex-girlfriend has raped me for almost every last penny I had so I need to make more money.

Someone suggested I could bartend at night when I got out of work. Only trouble is I don’t know anything about mixed drinks. Maybe I could be a waiter. Get some big tips and hot chicks. I'm thinking three nights a week?

Another possibility - I could get a job working on Saturdays. Some retail job. I know they don’t pay well but I’m desperate and every little bit helps. I will perhaps check out the local sex shops. I wouldn’t mind selling dildos to hot chicks. Do hot chicks even go into places like that? Probably just creepy men. Fuck that then. God, maybe I will have to work in the mall. I would almost rather sell $5 blow jobs in the parking garage than work in the fucking mall.

Let me know if you have any suggestions as far as part time employment for me or you know of any get rich quick schemes.


At 12:31 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

The Ceres Bakery, dude. They want you.


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