Saturday, July 09, 2005

Time For A New Life

Woe-is-fuckin-me. Guess what happened last night? My dishwasher broke! I'm not kidding. How ironic, especially after my last blog. I think the poor thing committed suicide thinking it was going to be captured by NASA and shot into a comet. A replacement is $400!!! Do you know how much drinking that is? Jesus, the last thing I want to spend my money on is an appliance. I could get another gun, for chrissakes. But considering what slobs my roommates are, I'm going to have to suck it up and get a new dishwasher. Fuck!

The new intern at work, Uri or Dmitri or whatever the fuck his name is, is more than making himself at home in my cube. I came in the other day and said "How come you aren't running around doing things like everyone else is?" I think he said that he was waiting until our manager came back from vacation. That's next week you commie goober! He was at my computer doing his damned homework. Then the next day when I asked him if he had done anything at all that day he said "I workink on laptop." Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Now today I noticed that the Stalinist ass-stabber has installed programs onto my computer! Good thing he was nowhere in sight when I discovered this otherwise there would have been an international incident. I am going to put a BIOS password on my computer just to fuck him up. And leave a tack on the chair.

And to top it all off, tonight I smashed my right index finger in the fire proof cabinet that we keep some of our back up tapes in. Its all swollen and blue and hurts like hell. I'm typing even slower than before.

I just hope that my immature roommate Buzz has left me some whiskey so when I get home I can swim in it.

[I just got home from work. The above blog was written during the 5 minute dinner that I allow myself if there is no shit storm on the horizon. Right after I finished, our production SQL server went down. Without going into the gory details, it totally blew dog. A perfect ending to a perfectly shitty week. Not to worry, though. A couple more shots of JD and I will be fine.]

11 Comments:

At 10:19 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

Just get the roommates to do the dishes, that's what I used to do. Cod God broke several every time it was his turn...

 
At 11:03 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

You're dishwasher isn't broken...

I just saw K-dog and Buzz going into the Champagne Room at the Tuna Taco Stand. Get their lazy asses to do the dishes between lapdances and benders.

Damn roommates are good for nothing.....

 
At 7:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bob, you're whining about losing what amounts to a luxury. You could do what I we do here, and do the dishes the old-fashioned way, by (gasp!) hand. Also, the last post you said "Did any of you guys check out the NASA Deep Impact mission that sent part of a space craft hurtling into the path of an oncoming comet? No? Probably too busy watching sitcoms or reality TV, huh?" Well, some of us also don't have cable, to follow stuff like that - another luxury. But I was following it the old-fashioned way, by (gasp!) the radio and regular news.

B-Face

ps. I hate all reality tv and almost all sitcoms.

pps. Your finger could be busted, better fix it up with some whiskey! It could work, you never know.

ppps. Why can't I sign on as myself? I have to use "anonymous". This sucks.

pppps. Can't you just get the washer fixed?

ppppps. I'm done now.

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

B-Face said:

"You could do what I we do here, and do the dishes the old-fashioned way, by (gasp!) hand."

You always told me you couldn't possibly put your delicate, guitar-playing hands in the soapy water or you'd ruin your career.

 
At 2:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That makes a shitload of sense, fuckwit. That's the best you can do, Billy, posting under what looks like some broad's name?

- B-Face

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Erin Nicole said...

...i'm confused.

at any rate, i have never had a dishwasher and know the pains of the manual washing. i agree with the making the roommies do the work suggestion. make 'em earn their keep.

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger The Cod God said...

A wise man once said "You know you have a problem when Jack Daniels can't fix it"

 
At 1:27 PM, Anonymous MBF said...

I guess I should confess....I am Allyon....

Your Mother

 
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

B-Face just called his mother a Fuckwit....

 
At 6:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No I didn't! I was under duress!

 
At 10:39 PM, Blogger midwest_hick said...

Paper plates are another option.

 

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