Thursday, December 15, 2005

Knees Down Mother Brown

Man, I have a new respect for the Cod God (how often do you hear that?). The guy’s been on disability for over two years due to blowing his back out while working as a fisherman. I'm out for one lousy week because of my damned knee and I'm ready to off myself. It got so bad, I was actually dreaming about work! There is nothing worse than not being able to move or do anything. My roomies had to wait on me hand and foot. It was less fun than blowing dead porcupines. Actually, I couldn’t have blown much of anything even with knee pads.

After three years the doctors have decided its not bursitis or gout I suffer from after all. It's the tendon in my kneecap that’s about to snap like a cheap thong. The first bozo I saw this time around wanted to give me a cortisone shot. Just touching the kneecap sent me through the roof so I couldn't even imagine a needle in the same room. I said “fuck that!” And it’s a good thing that shot didn't happen according to the next sawbone I saw. Could have weakened the area even more.

Now they might have to operate on it. I will strenuously try to avoid that. We all know how going under the knife has improved Cod God's life. I think his doctors secretly get together and devise new tortures for him all the time. Maybe someone should alert John McCain.

I’m going through physical therapy and taking anti-inflammatory drugs. It still hurts like hell but I can bend my leg enough to get into a car now. Only trouble is my car is a manual and that necessitates pushing in a clutch which I can’t do. So I have to borrow my roommate’s damned looser cruiser mini-van. Gets half the mileage and makes people think I’m a family man. That’s no way to get chicks. Goddammit.


At 8:42 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

It would indeed be a shame to downgrade to a mini-van from your current chick-magnet of a vehicle.

How did you initially screw up your knee? I probably should know this but I don't remember.

At 9:45 AM, Blogger CptLeech said...

Hmmm, Cod Cod, Cod Gal, Pa Cod and now Wheel Gun. How funny is it that B-Face is the healthiest of all you poor bastards.

At 6:22 PM, Blogger B-Face said...

Not mentally.

At 9:14 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

Don't forget Cod-Mom, or Mom-Face, or whatever. Me. Disabled, in and out of PT for various creaky joints. It's time we got a dedicated famly physical therapist.


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