Tuesday, December 20, 2005

My Lousy Mood, Your Good Fortune

Your hero Wheel Gun Bob is in a very foul mood. This is generally not a good thing! However, it may result in a witty and endearing blog for the benefit of you, my adoring fans. Why am I in a bad mood? My knee hurts, it's winter, I'm poor, I’m at work, Christmas is a week away and I have a million things to do and I have not had my tadger deep-throated in ages. Enough to kill anyone's buzz.

Today's blog will focus on two things, one that’s very good constitutionally and one that’s very bad constitutionally. Plus there will be my usual peppering of hilarious scatological and sexual innuendos and double entendres. You are in for a treat! So go get a stiff drink and some paper towels and read on, my good people.

First the bad. It looks like we should start referring to President Bush as King Bush. He can pretty much do what ever he wants now. He can spy on any citizen without getting any sort of warrant or approval. Sounds a little big brotherish, no? I think North Korea can do this to their little comrades. I think Fidel does it to anyone who might possibly disagree with him. So where is the conservative outrage? They should be howling with disbelief louder than yaks goosed with pressure treated 4x4s! Talk about governmental abuse and intrusion! Good God.

Two things to consider, you rightwing bitches: 1. They might want to take your guns next. Hey, they don't give a shit about the rest of the constitution so why would there care about the second amendment? Gotta keep those guns away from the terrorists you know. 2. Bush won’t be president forever. So, would you want your evil nemesis Hillary to have all these powers if she ever became president? What’s good for the goose is good for the power hungry lesbian liberal gander. I can almost hear all of you madly clutching at your suddenly incontinent sit-upons.

Our government is so fucked up right now its almost laughable. One party rule will do that. Bush brazenly gets away with just about anything he wants so long as those upper income tax cuts keep coming. Tricky Dick would be so proud. Our founding fathers would be horrified. You guys going to do anything about it? Huh? Huh? At least I write a blog.

The next thing made me so happy, I almost whistled "Happy Days Are Here Again" out my asshole. The idea that intelligent design (ID) should be taught as science in school biology classes was summarily butt raped by a very intelligent judge in Pennsylvania. He used the term "breathtaking inanity" to describe the Dover Pa school board’s decision to include ID in the school's biology curriculum. As well he should have. ID is not science! It's not subject to contradicting evidence (in other words, not a testable hypothesis as all things in science need to be by definition) since you can't prove an intelligent designer doesn't exist. And it deals with the supernatural (God) not the natural which is the purview of science. Nothing wrong with religious faith, it just ain't science. Let ID be discussed in theology class. In your faith, Christian Taliban! Stick to hassling the homos. Actually don’t. Leave them the fuck alone too.

Speaking of Christ, you folks should now consider what to get me for Christmas. Here is my wish list:

1. A new left knee.
2. Big ole bottles of booze.
3. A Kimber Ultra Carry.
4. A Jennifer Garner calendar.
5. A Thompson Center Firestorm.
6. A gift certificate to Ten’s in Salisbury.
7. The Star Wars DVD Boxed Set.
8. The Cum Guzzling Freaks DVD Boxed set Vols 7-10.
9. A Newegg.com gift certificate.
10. Some cashews or macadamia nuts.
11. Mystery Oil.
12. Cash.

There, my moods a little better now.


At 10:29 PM, Blogger Allyon said...

Dearest Brother: How could you be in a bad mood on my birthday? Hmmmm?

Yours truly,
55 and Still Alive

At 1:31 AM, Blogger Wheel Gun Bob said...

Just wait till you get your present.


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