Monday, May 15, 2006

The Purloined Soda

Now I’m really pissed. Someone has stolen my goddamned soda two nights in a row! I keep my stuff in a communal refrigerator near engineering. The head security guard here thinks it’s one of those “fuckin’ Indians – I see them snoopin’ around all the time.” He wanted me to steal someone else’s soda as “an eye for an eye.” But I won’t.

So I have to figure out how to booby trap or poison my next soda. I’ll get the fucker, just you wait. Maybe I will piss in it. Any ideas how to seal a can back up after you open it?

I shouldn’t have even come to work today. Massive flooding everywhere. I went down a road that was closed (as was everyone else) and was almost swept off the road by a river flowing over it. Then about three miles further down, the cops turned us all around. Back over the river. I’m not even sure how I got here. And I’m not sure how to get the hell out of here tonight.


At 8:41 AM, Blogger LittleDougyPorkSword said...

I would suggest a little essence of cayenne on the rim of the soda can (I used rim in a sentence and it wasn’t dirty!). You used to be able to buy the stuff to make your own hot sauce, its transparent, and mostly odorless.


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