Monday, April 20, 2009

Eat shit and smile – it’s a paycheck

Jesus mofo Christ am I depressed. Here I am at work which is bad enough. But now we are in “shutdown” mode which means that the company is doing so poorly it has to turn off the lights and the heat and tell people to go get unemployment for a couple weeks at a time. All except for a hand full of IT idiots deemed necessary of “protecting” so they, unlike most of the intelligent ones, don’t leave for greener pastures. And yes, I’m one of those idiots. And the worst part is I have to keep it secret from the IT people they didn’t protect who are on unemployment. Fuck.

So I need to vent and, although I hear blogging is dead due to the onslaught of hipper technologies like Facebook and Twitter, I will go old school on your asses and tickle your fancies with a vintage, sepia-toned blog. 23 skidoo!

Politics: Our jug-eared president with the outrageously hot wife is trying his best to undo all the damage wrought during the last 8 years both domestically and foreign by our former jug-eared president. Good luck. And how does he get all this time to gallivant around the world when he should be putting the wood to the old lady 24/7? I would be willing to step in and help out on that front (or back) – that’s how patriotic I am.

Speaking of which, I saw the funniest spam the other day. It was of course for some Viagra like pill. It said “Do you have enough energy to tear her ham wallet?”

My bro-in-law Lumber Yard Dennis just had a contraption put in his heart. I guess he dropped a valve rooting for the Yankees. Anyway, they got some sort of American Standard plumbing piece, got Dennis really drunk and stuck it in his ticker. He seems to be OK but they are trying to get the Drano levels just right in his blood. If you hear a loud flushing noise the next time the Yanks loose, you will know why.

It being spring time, Ole Wheel Gun has been hitting the gym hard so the local chicky-boos will have someone to desire. Once under 300lbs, I’m sure they will flock to me. That plus I’m using Grecian formula to cloak my advanced age. Little Wheel Gun will sure be busy soon tearing some ham wallet.